Phoenix Post

It’s not necessary to restate here the magnitude of the economic hardships that have struck the world in recent times. It’s been a bit of a bummer for everyone, including those responsible for keeping this blog going. During such unfortunate times, we couldn’t help but resort to unpopular moves such as trimming the payroll, reducing incentives and lowering our expenditure. This has largely been the reason for the lack of updates for so long. We apologise to all our faithful readers, if any, for the inconvenience, however unlikely, that our abscondment may have caused. It is hoped that the recent measures to streamline our operations and bring them back from the dead will prove adequate and that we can continue to hammer out more nonsense in the future.

As reward for your poor taste and judgement (you’re spending your time reading this) and our recovering strength, we bring you excerpts from personal communication that our now only writer (yes, the cost cutting measures were THAT bad) once had with someone we assume he knows quite well.

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“Soon, I have to tackle the Gi.Ar.E (name changed on request – ed.). Frankly, I think it’s staring the Vi.Ti.You (again, name changed on request – ed.) in the eye for high-handedness and testing on unworldly topics.  For a nation with an average IQ that’s limited to two digits, it’s unlikely anybody would find his ability to engineer blighted by his inability to explain what legerdemain means. I know folks who would struggle to put two meaningful sentences together, but have memorised the meaning of vituperative so they can do well on the test… sounds awful familiar to what happens every six months on engineering college campuses in Bangalore. I’m not really good at the math bits… so I’m not going to say anything about them… Oh, I’m not much good with the words either, but those things absolutely had to be said…

Sometimes, I think it’s best to go away to some far corner of any of the many forests in the world and live in tranquil solitude (see… just preparing for the darned stuff leads you to use unnecessarily complex words and sentences). All this preparation for war has made me forget what I was fighting for in the first place… Vicissitudes in the offing, maybe?”

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